How to Get a Positive Growth Mindset

I've been thinking a lot lately about how 2020 has been a year of change and growth. For most people, the challenge to adjust creates stress and worry. As time passes by, we may have a sense that  there's not enough time to do everything we need and want to (which can add to stress and feeling discontented). How can we avoid these time pressures and feel satisfied with the moments we live? For this reason, I want to offer 3 ways to continue building hardiness and resilience (in other words, the ability to remain calm in the face of crisis and recover quickly) so that stress levels stay manageable and not overwhelming. This important conversation also applies to the anxiety and worry we may feel with the holiday season/end of year, ongoing pandemic & prolonged stay at home/distancing recommendations, and presidential election. 

Consider.. 
If you are stressed or feeling down, you are not alone! The 2020 nationwide Harris Poll reports that 78% of adults say that the coronavirus pandemic is a significant cause of stress in their lives, while 60% say that the current number of issues America faces is overwhelming to them. In light of this, how have you been lately with stress levels or worrying unproductively? If you feel like you are (or very recently have been) pushing your limits, do you have a strategy to prevent yourself from being consumed and breaking down? Do you depend on situations to resolve themselves so that your stress levels can return to normal? Learn and practice new strategies to take care of yourself- one of which is to grow in the area of resilience so that you are less affected when stress arises. This encouragement particularly applies to those who are feeling a bit more anxious with current seasonal, social, and political changes our country is experiencing. 

3 Ways to Build Growth in
​Resilience  Into Your Life: 

1. Get outside of your comfort zone (either planned or spontaneous). Taking efforts to face your fears and push yourself (in realistic ways) will boost your confidence such that common activities and behaviors are less “scary.” Determine for yourself what situations are outside your comfort zone but not to the point of being dangerous or uncomfortably risky. Perhaps asking someone to accompany you can help muster up the needed courage. Examples include meeting new people, signing up for a class, or trying anything new. 
2. Be aware of your internal reflections and try to have a positive mentality. Can you expect that things will turn out the way you want them to? Can you keep your “eyes on the prize” instead of on what might go wrong? Find strength and courage by recalling past successes, helpful lessons, and ways that you managed to persevere. Learning to think about your circumstances, abilities, and capabilities in helpful ways can also bolster confidence. Psychologist Dr. Ey also states activities such as finding sources of humor or joy, expressing gratitude, and listing accomplishments can help cultivate positive emotions.  
3. Seek and spend time with individuals that similarly have a positive outlook and value personal growth. Michelangelo stated “I saw an angel in the stone and I carved to set her free.” While most people don’t relate to one another in this way, this quote provides a beautiful picture of how healthy and mutually supportive relationships can foster growth and resilience. With whom can you develop these relationships at work, at school, at home, or in the community? 

    "How Will These Behaviors Support        the Development of Resilience?"
Conner and Davidson conducted research and identified 25 qualities that contribute to resilience. The activity ideas that I suggested above can help you become more resilient in some of the ways identified by Conner and Davidson, such as: 

• Can deal with whatever comes
• Past success gives confidence for new challenge
• Think of self as a strong person
• Can handle unpleasant feelings
• You like challenges
• Pride in your achievements
• Close and secure relationships
• See the humorous side of things
• Know where to turn for help
• Tend to bounce back after illness or hardship
• Best effort no matter what
• Not easily discouraged by failure
• Strong sense of purpose
• You work to attain your goals.

What ideas do you have to grow in these areas of resilience? Be creative and intentional to develop this healthy and empowering quality!

For additional ideas on fostering a lifestyle anchored in resilience, you can review my previous blog posts here and here.  

Its really a series of lived experiences that, as a whole, build resilience into one's life. That's me grinning in the blue shirt as I pursued my lofty but doable goal to complete 3 Spartan Obstacle Course Races.

I would be delighted to help you if you need someone to support and guide you through life's rough waters. Call for availability. <3 Be Well ! 

        - Dr. Melissa Soo Hoo